2/10/2020

First thing I wanted to mention before everything else is that I have been a bit gentler with myself with some things in some situations over the past week. I don’t remember exactly with what, but I remember noticing that I was being a bit kinder and gentler a few times with myself. Now to … Continue reading 2/10/2020

1/4/20

Of course, as soon as I sent that last document, my mental state plummeted, and I find myself so overwhelmed to the point that I am seriously considering hospitalization. I’m not at the point yet where I feel completely unsafe, but I know I’m heading down that way rapidly. It terrifies me to even mention … Continue reading 1/4/20

6/9/19-6/21/19

6/20After frantically searching and looking, I found a blade at my grandmother’s house that I could use. It was an old eyeliner pencil sharpener that is fortunately not rusty and still relatively sharp. She had some other old ones that were rusty and a newer one that she uses, and I was not going to … Continue reading 6/9/19-6/21/19

4/26/19-5/24/19

I don’t know if you remembered or not; I don’t expect you to, but when we last met, it was the exact date of our last session last year and when I went to the hospital. When you asked at the session before about when I could meet next, I already knew that I wanted … Continue reading 4/26/19-5/24/19

2/19/19

Thoughts after session with Hank Today’s session felt unproductive, and I didn’t get to ask him about housing accommodation paperwork or the communication consent forms. We started the session off with him asking me how I was doing. I said I was doing okay to which he responded by asking if I was really okay. … Continue reading 2/19/19

July 2018 Update

An update from Nicole to Taylor explaining things that have happened so far over the summer break since the hospital Hey, I just wanted to give you an update of what has been happening over the past few months. I sort of just put everything that has been happening in here just to explain everything, … Continue reading July 2018 Update

12/12/18

12/12/18 after session thoughts I am actually really proud of myself for talking as much as I did and for some of the times I spoke, with a somewhat decent voice that wasn’t too croaky. This is the most pride I have felt since that theatre performance I did back in October. My goal for … Continue reading 12/12/18

10/20/18

10/20/18 Explanation and Thoughts of Recent Events Addressed to Nicole's counselor Here is an explanation of everything that has happened prior to my hospitalization, what happened the night of, what happened during my stay, and what has happened afterwards. As for what happened leading up to being there, it started about three weeks ago, when … Continue reading 10/20/18

The Painful Wait Continues

Thursday, April 26, 2018 7:00 pm A nurse comes out to them and tells them they now have a room ready. Nicole's mind continues to spin as she sees her captivity is only steps away. She looks one last time at the sliding doors before she follows the nurse back to a room in the … Continue reading The Painful Wait Continues

Remembering and Missing

TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM One, two, three, … seventeen.I count the healing wounds on my skin.I trace each one with my fingers,feeling the ridges and creases of pink discolored scars.I rub each one tenderly,remembering and missing the pain of each one opening,the nostalgia of each cut made. Again, I rub my healing wrist, promising myself … Continue reading Remembering and Missing