10/20/18

10/20/18 Explanation and Thoughts of Recent Events Addressed to Nicole's counselor Here is an explanation of everything that has happened prior to my hospitalization, what happened the night of, what happened during my stay, and what has happened afterwards. As for what happened leading up to being there, it started about three weeks ago, when … Continue reading 10/20/18

Silencing Her Mind

TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM Thoughts whip and beat around her mind;the urges pull at her, pleading,“Just one cut, just one slice;”they beg, “just one please.”She rolls back her sleeve, runs her fingers across the ridges of old cuts,the dried bloody lines, the peeling broken skin,the rough calloused scars.Her wrist stares up at her, Scarred and … Continue reading Silencing Her Mind

Limits

One bite, One sip, Each are filled with guilt.   A second bite, A second sip, How sorely they are missed.   A third of both Causes mounds of shame.   So, No more calories, No more pounds, No more pain. EC

Pray For Me?

Thursday, April 26, 2018 Nicole takes out her phone and responds to the messages she has received from her friends, Marie, Leigha, and Matt. Matt saw the message she sent to the group chat and is concerned. The previous times she asked for prayers like this, it was on late nights when she was struggling … Continue reading Pray For Me?

The Final Session

TRIGGER WARNINGThursday, April 26, 2018 3:00 p.m. Nicole is sitting in the counseling center waiting to go back into her counselor’s office. She is very nervous as this will be her last session with Taylor, and she doesn’t know how well she will handle the summer without a clinician. She’s been more depressed and anxious … Continue reading The Final Session

College Health Center Visit

Friday, April 20, 2018 It’s 7:30 a.m., on a chilly Friday morning and Nicole wakes up to the vibrations of her phone alarm next her face. She looks at the time. “I have thirty more minutes till I need to get ready for class. At 8, I will get up and shower and get dressed, … Continue reading College Health Center Visit

Sharing My Dark Thoughts

TRIGGER WARNING Thursday, April 12, 2018 It’s 10:45 a.m. on a sunny April Thursday, and a girl is sitting in the dining hall, trying to eat something before she goes to her counseling session. She feels nauseous and isn’t sure if it’s because she nervous or if it’s because she needs to eat something. After … Continue reading Sharing My Dark Thoughts

Hidden Anguish

Looking in from the outside, you see she has a pretty smile, Soft eyes, a kind heart, and a quiet presence. Her hugs are comforting, warm and secure. She puts up this facade to hide her true self, But underneath the mask is the hopelessness she carries. Her broken mind is hidden, cowering behind her … Continue reading Hidden Anguish

We Share A Name and A Life

This piece I wrote a little over a year ago. It is the first real writing I ever did as a depressed and anxious teenager trying to figure out the mess that is my brain. Originally, it was a harsh letter written in first person, but after revisions and editing, it became somewhat of a … Continue reading We Share A Name and A Life