1/21/20

I thought I was going to do better today -  I was ready, but when I got there, I froze and maybe it was partially contributed to the shame I had from yesterday and maybe the shame of cutting although that wasn’t really on the forefront of my mind. I haven’t really been talking to … Continue reading 1/21/20

6/24/19-7/26/19

After my first week of my internships, I am exhausted both physically and mentally. At work, I was in a pretty good mental space except for the usual social anxiety and inability to speak much, but now that I’m home over the weekend, I’ve had time to think about past therapy sessions, and all the … Continue reading 6/24/19-7/26/19

6/9/19-6/21/19

6/20After frantically searching and looking, I found a blade at my grandmother’s house that I could use. It was an old eyeliner pencil sharpener that is fortunately not rusty and still relatively sharp. She had some other old ones that were rusty and a newer one that she uses, and I was not going to … Continue reading 6/9/19-6/21/19

July 2018 Update

An update from Nicole to Taylor explaining things that have happened so far over the summer break since the hospital Hey, I just wanted to give you an update of what has been happening over the past few months. I sort of just put everything that has been happening in here just to explain everything, … Continue reading July 2018 Update

12/12/18

12/12/18 after session thoughts I am actually really proud of myself for talking as much as I did and for some of the times I spoke, with a somewhat decent voice that wasn’t too croaky. This is the most pride I have felt since that theatre performance I did back in October. My goal for … Continue reading 12/12/18

10/20/18

10/20/18 Explanation and Thoughts of Recent Events Addressed to Nicole's counselor Here is an explanation of everything that has happened prior to my hospitalization, what happened the night of, what happened during my stay, and what has happened afterwards. As for what happened leading up to being there, it started about three weeks ago, when … Continue reading 10/20/18

Panic Attack

A rope around my necka bag over my headplastic across my facechoking on my tongue My breath is stolenOxygenI’m deprivedMy throat is constrictingMy lungs collapsing A stabbing in my chestMy heart’s poundingFeels though it may burst Light begins to fadeMy brain is shutting down My hands tremblePins and needles overtake themMy limbs, numb and bound … Continue reading Panic Attack