2/10/2020

First thing I wanted to mention before everything else is that I have been a bit gentler with myself with some things in some situations over the past week. I don’t remember exactly with what, but I remember noticing that I was being a bit kinder and gentler a few times with myself. Now to … Continue reading 2/10/2020

2/3-4/2020

2/3/2020 During sessions, I was/am having a very difficult time speaking, so one day, my therapist and I tried communicating by having me type to him on my computer, then hand it to him to read and respond to so that we could keep a conversation going and not end up in the same cycle … Continue reading 2/3-4/2020

1/21/20

I thought I was going to do better today -  I was ready, but when I got there, I froze and maybe it was partially contributed to the shame I had from yesterday and maybe the shame of cutting although that wasn’t really on the forefront of my mind. I haven’t really been talking to … Continue reading 1/21/20

1/6/20

Originally, I wasn’t going to write up one of these, but over the week, I remembered a bunch of things I wanted to mention. First thing, I finally found a word that I like for these documents: reflections. Second thing, I would really like to share the video of the play I wrote for my … Continue reading 1/6/20

12/10/19-1/3/20

12/10/19 There was so much more I wanted to say today. I wanted to tell you about how that theme of feeling like a problem has carried over into being here at school like in tuition, books, transportation, counseling/therapy and medication, ER trips and hospital stays, etc. My mind always goes to the “solution” of … Continue reading 12/10/19-1/3/20

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Please Share

I’m struggling financially so if you would please share this, I’d really appreciate it, and I’m praying God will provide for me through this fundraiser. https://www.gofundme.com/f/v4eay-medical-bills?utm_medium=email&utm_source=product&utm_campaign=p_email%2B4904-welcome-wp-v5

10/1/19

I came into session carrying so much shame. I also knew that this session was not going to be good or productive, because the last one went so well. The day after we first met this semester, Wednesday, I gave into the urges to cut in the late afternoon. I skipped work and class that … Continue reading 10/1/19

8/20/19-8/24/19

8/20Moving on to another anxiety of mine, I have decided that I need to face the anxiety I have concerning make-up. I’ve only ever worn it like five times and three of those times were for the play last April. When I was younger, in middle and high school, I never participated in the experimentation … Continue reading 8/20/19-8/24/19

7/30/19-8/8/19

7/30I had this awful dream last night where I was housesitting for my neighbors, and I accidentally killed about ten of their animals by neglecting them. I only found out that the animals were dead because my family came over and my mother interrogated me about the well-being of the animals, which resulted in my … Continue reading 7/30/19-8/8/19

6/24/19-7/26/19

After my first week of my internships, I am exhausted both physically and mentally. At work, I was in a pretty good mental space except for the usual social anxiety and inability to speak much, but now that I’m home over the weekend, I’ve had time to think about past therapy sessions, and all the … Continue reading 6/24/19-7/26/19