My Creamsicle Kitten

4 a.m. A time too early for even early risers Darkness still fills the room, the quiet ticking of the clock the soft purrs of my feline friend sprawled out and lying beside me. My pillow perfectly positioned beneath my head; my comforter enveloping me with warmth one arm out for the ideal temperature. I … Continue reading My Creamsicle Kitten

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10/20/18

10/20/18 Explanation and Thoughts of Recent Events Addressed to Nicole's counselor Here is an explanation of everything that has happened prior to my hospitalization, what happened the night of, what happened during my stay, and what has happened afterwards. As for what happened leading up to being there, it started about three weeks ago, when … Continue reading 10/20/18

10/10/18

Session Thoughts She waits in the waiting room for about three minutes. She sits there with her phone in hand trying to distract herself from her anxiety. She hasn’t been dealing with it well as of late even though she knows she needs to. Over fall break, her aunt and cousin were in town, and … Continue reading 10/10/18

The Painful Wait Continues

Thursday, April 26, 2018 7:00 pm A nurse comes out to them and tells them they now have a room ready. Nicole's mind continues to spin as she sees her captivity is only steps away. She looks one last time at the sliding doors before she follows the nurse back to a room in the … Continue reading The Painful Wait Continues

Remembering and Missing

TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM One, two, three, … seventeen.I count the healing wounds on my skin.I trace each one with my fingers,feeling the ridges and creases of pink discolored scars.I rub each one tenderly,remembering and missing the pain of each one opening,the nostalgia of each cut made. Again, I rub my healing wrist, promising myself … Continue reading Remembering and Missing

My Wrist’s Wishes

TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM I look down at my wrist.She stares up at me with a sense of pleading,not to harm her anymore, not to cut her open, begging for just one day without fresh pain, time to pull herself together,bind her skin and heal,asking not to be stretched apart,trying to keep herself intact,working to … Continue reading My Wrist’s Wishes

Silencing Her Mind

TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM Thoughts whip and beat around her mind;the urges pull at her, pleading,“Just one cut, just one slice;”they beg, “just one please.”She rolls back her sleeve, runs her fingers across the ridges of old cuts,the dried bloody lines, the peeling broken skin,the rough calloused scars.Her wrist stares up at her, Scarred and … Continue reading Silencing Her Mind

My Love

I met him when I was youngIt was love at first sightand truly I do mean love at first sightI first fell for his dashing personalityand his contagious smileHe’s always thereto lend a listening earor a shoulder to cry onHe’s one of the best listenersand never interruptsI often stroke his honey locksThey feel as smooth … Continue reading My Love

Panic Attack

A rope around my necka bag over my headplastic across my facechoking on my tongue My breath is stolenOxygenI’m deprivedMy throat is constrictingMy lungs collapsing A stabbing in my chestMy heart’s poundingFeels though it may burst Light begins to fadeMy brain is shutting down My hands tremblePins and needles overtake themMy limbs, numb and bound … Continue reading Panic Attack

Limits

One bite, One sip, Each are filled with guilt.   A second bite, A second sip, How sorely they are missed.   A third of both Causes mounds of shame.   So, No more calories, No more pounds, No more pain. EC