Leaving Safety

Thursday, April 26, 2018

4:33 p.m.

Taylor comes back to the room, and after a few minutes, Matt knocks on the door, slowly opening it.

He looks to Nicole and greets her in a low voice. “Hey.”

Still standing in the doorway, he turns to Taylor and introduces himself, “Hi, I’m Matt. Would it be okay if I came in and prayed with Nicole?”

Taylor lets him in, and Matt sits in the chair across from Nicole. Matt takes her hands in his to pray, but first, he inquires about what is wrong.

“Is it the cutting again?”

As her hands are in his, the sensation of the physical touch of another human brings her back to the reality she is facing. She begins to panic more, and she squeaks out an answer. “No, worse.” Her voice is caught, and she can’t manage to tell him what has happened bringing her to this point. She is thankful that he didn’t ask anymore questions and for being there as support.

Matt prepares to pray by leaning forward and bowing his head. Nicole hasn’t moved from her chair or position in the past hour and a half, but now, she follows and does the same.

As Matt prays, Taylor is at his desk chair turned toward his computer, paying little to no attention to the two sitting behind him. Nicole is on the verge of tears, and a few barely escape, but her mind won’t let her break down any more.

When Matt finishes his prayer, Taylor steps out of the room for a moment, then returns to his desk chair turning to face Nicole. He tells her that campus police is there waiting outside. He explains to her again that she will ride in the patrol car, but assures her that he will be following right behind them, so he can meet her at the hospital. Nicole nods and relays that she understands. He then asks her if she is ready to go. She reluctantly nods, grabs her bag, and stands up. Taylor also rises, grabbing his bag and keys, and waits next to the doorway for the two to go ahead of him. Matt walks out first then pauses right outside the office door, waiting for them to follow. Nicole follows him out, but stops next to him as she is not exactly sure what to do or where to go.

She sees the officer waiting for her, and she starts to panic again. Everything is becoming more real, and she’s not sure how to cope. The officer asks if they’re ready to go, and Nicole nods while Taylor tells them they are. The officer motions for them to go first out of the center. Matt leads them out with Nicole following and Taylor and the officer right behind. As Matt is holding the last door open, he and Nicole say their goodbyes.

Campus police and Taylor walk her out of the building and the officer directs her towards the patrol car. With Nicole in the car, her hands shaking, breathe strangled and panicked mental state, the officer waits for Taylor to get to and in his car. Things seem so unreal for Nicole, and she can barely process what is happening. Thankfully, the officer doesn’t attempt to engage her in conversation. She tries to focus her attention on her phone, texting Matt and thanking him for praying with her.

4:44 pm

M: I’ll be praying for you throughout your stay and even after it. 

N: Thank you and also thank you so much for praying with me

M: I hope you don’t have to stay at the hospital though. 

Of course

N: Yeah

M: Does anyone else know that you’re going to the hospital to be evaluated?

N: I told Marie that I was going for mental health issues then I told my friend Leigha that I was going 

M: Okay. if you trust them, those are the people I’d write down numbers for. 

N: Ok

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