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Please Share

I’m struggling financially so if you would please share this, I’d really appreciate it, and I’m praying God will provide for me through this fundraiser. https://www.gofundme.com/f/v4eay-medical-bills?utm_medium=email&utm_source=product&utm_campaign=p_email%2B4904-welcome-wp-v5

1/27/20

I was trying so hard. The harder I tried, the harder it was to do the thing I wanted to do. I wanted to move down on the floor, and I was trying to, but no movement would work, like with the speaking part at the end; there was no way I was going to … Continue reading 1/27/20

1/21/20

I thought I was going to do better today -  I was ready, but when I got there, I froze and maybe it was partially contributed to the shame I had from yesterday and maybe the shame of cutting although that wasn’t really on the forefront of my mind. I haven’t really been talking to … Continue reading 1/21/20

1/20/20

The same thing that happened last week with my voice failing me happened today. I was already afraid that I was going to have a difficult time with speaking, and I guess since I was so afraid of that happening again, I was paralyzed by that fear which resulted in my voice not cooperating and … Continue reading 1/20/20

1/6/20

Originally, I wasn’t going to write up one of these, but over the week, I remembered a bunch of things I wanted to mention. First thing, I finally found a word that I like for these documents: reflections. Second thing, I would really like to share the video of the play I wrote for my … Continue reading 1/6/20

1/4/20

Of course, as soon as I sent that last document, my mental state plummeted, and I find myself so overwhelmed to the point that I am seriously considering hospitalization. I’m not at the point yet where I feel completely unsafe, but I know I’m heading down that way rapidly. It terrifies me to even mention … Continue reading 1/4/20

12/10/19-1/3/20

12/10/19 There was so much more I wanted to say today. I wanted to tell you about how that theme of feeling like a problem has carried over into being here at school like in tuition, books, transportation, counseling/therapy and medication, ER trips and hospital stays, etc. My mind always goes to the “solution” of … Continue reading 12/10/19-1/3/20

10/1/19

I came into session carrying so much shame. I also knew that this session was not going to be good or productive, because the last one went so well. The day after we first met this semester, Wednesday, I gave into the urges to cut in the late afternoon. I skipped work and class that … Continue reading 10/1/19

Negative Aspects of Childhood

These are the memories that I can remember being negative though I’m sure there’s more, but here are the most readily accessible ones. The majority happened in the second half of my childhood more in my teen years as those are easier to remember, but I don’t know if that’s technically considered childhood. I’ll probably … Continue reading Negative Aspects of Childhood

8/20/19-8/24/19

8/20Moving on to another anxiety of mine, I have decided that I need to face the anxiety I have concerning make-up. I’ve only ever worn it like five times and three of those times were for the play last April. When I was younger, in middle and high school, I never participated in the experimentation … Continue reading 8/20/19-8/24/19